Merry Christmas!

Christmas is finally here! And yet, I still can't open any presents! Arg! The only downside of family tradition is when the family isn't around to be a part of it so everything is placed on hiatus. While everyone else is already opening their presents, my family have to wait 5 additional days until we get to have the joy of ripping apart our poorly wrapped gifts and filling our recycle bin to over max capacity. I think the only big downside about holidays is that most food joints are closed so where am I suppose to go to fill my little tummy huh!? You know what? Christmas sucks big white frosty donut buns! Hmph!

Santa to the rescue! Er, maybe not.

Santa gave me a bag of crap? WTF!

Please Leave Your Dang Kids At Home

Today's experience totally reminds me of the reason why I like to do my Christmas shopping early. Sure, the parking is insane and totally packed at the mall so finding a parking space totally won't happen. You have to keep on the look out and seek out your prey. Once you find your long awaited prey, you creep up behind them and follow them closely. Waiting to make your move and then you pounce on their parking space before any other vultures try to sneak in for your kill, I mean spot. Parking is annoying, but the slow crowds especially the ones with the kids and elderly just totally peeves me. The mall is crowded enough so why would you drag your kids with you and their strollers? Besides, it's not like your kids even want to be there shopping for hours straight anyways. Shopping is a dang sport so you better keep up with the pace or move out of the way! It just makes me want to ram them down and stomp all over them for getting in my way. It's just like driving, you're driving at top speeds and then suddenly wham! A super slow car gets in your way. It just makes you want to just go WHAM!

Santa loves speed

Christmas All Year Long

Christmas is my favorite time of the year and it's not all about receiving gifts and what not because no one ever gives me anything anyways because I'm not loved. *Sniffles* I love Christmas because it just gets you in the mood to give, give , give! Especially with all the knocked down prices everywhere and you know me, I just love a bargain! Every year, right after Thanksgiving we would always put the Christmas tree up and there would already be presents underneath it but this year we put the tree up even before Thanksgiving. I just love acting like Santa except I don't have the big belly and red and white suit and a beard, or maybe I do. Last year, my good deed of the season made at least 2 people happy. I donated my hair to Locks of Love so I no longer look like Cousin It and I gave the hair stylist a hefty tip. Well, they better be happy otherwise I just might have to snatch everything back and say "It's MINE!"

The fat man is here to stay dawg