Holy Cow I'm Fat

It has sadden me that I have not been working out regularly for a little over a year and am now feeling like a big fat cow.  I think I should walk up to my parents and show off my big belly while not looking at them in their eyes and tell them that I got knocked up just to see their reaction.  But luckily, I finally have a pair of running shoes now thanks to some loser but the hiatus does not make me regret donating my old running shoes to the needy.  So, it is time to get back to working out regularly and trying P90X again.  Yes!

Oh yeah baby!

My Boss Is Fat Part 3

To end this three part trilogy, I can tell you that it will certainly be explosive and send things flying through the room.  Sure, never in my life have I seen or heard of anyone ripping their pants open while doing a normal everyday activity but apparently this dude is anything but normal right?  So as he was talking on the phone with a client, he sat down on one of the office chairs and suddenly we heard a loud pop sound.  We were both like dude he broke the chair but we looked at it and everything seemed normal...but then across the room about 10 feet away was one of the wheels from the chair.  Dude's fat ass popped the freaking wheel right off the chair!  If a heart attack doesn't kill him then his fat ass will.

Kids say the darnest things!

My Boss Is Fat Part 3

To end this three part trilogy, I can tell you that it will certainly be explosive and send things flying through the room.  Sure, never in my life have I seen or heard of anyone ripping their pants open while doing a normal everyday activity but apparently this dude is anything but normal right?  So as he was talking on the phone with a client, he sat down on one of the office chairs and suddenly we heard a loud pop sound.  We were both like dude he broke the chair but we looked at it and everything seemed normal...but then across the room about 10 feet away was one of the wheels from the chair.  Dude's fat ass popped the freaking wheel right off the chair!  If a heart attack doesn't kill him then his fat ass will.

Kids say the darnest things!

My Boss Is Fat Part 2

Here comes part two of my three part trilogy, you know how most people who have to freaking fart so they gently let it out and hope that no one smells their funk or hear the thundering sounds of their flapping ass cheeks?  Well, not him!  I was minding my own business doing my work and everything was all nice and quite until I hear a thundering sound echoing through the room and shaking the windows.  A normal person would be embarrassed and be like oh snaps or laugh it off or even apologize but dude went on as if it was nothing.  I mean come on now, I heard that and no way that I didn't because even a deaf person can feel the shock waves of that!  This is probably normal for him but it's kind of sad that someone could be so numbed from stuff like this because no one should really accept this as normal in their life.  Feel some shame!  And he wonders why he can't find another wife and it's no surprise that his first wife turned lesbo after staying with him and his second wife left him because she certainly did not like him for his charms and if she wasn't going to get any of his estate then there's point for anybody to stay with him.

Dun, dun, dun!

My Boss Is Fat Part 1

The current tax firm that I am working at for this tax season is so dang freaking fat, lazy, dirty, and yes those are his good qualities if you want to consider that he has any.  There are so many times when I just want to crack up and laugh my freaking ass off right then and there in his presence.  When I first met him to be interviewed, I knew that working in his firm was going to anything but a fancy or even decent in terms of office environment.  Apparently after I left the interview, a so dang ridiculous thing happened which you really only see in movies and stuff.  The next time that I met with him again, he told me what happened just right after I left him that day and I wanted to die from laughing so badly and what made it even more funny was that he didn't even feel that embarrassed but after awhile I knew why because incidents like this happens to him all the time which is why I have to break these stories of my fat boss into a three part trilogy because he is THAT fat.  So what happened was that after I left, his fat ass ripped his pants wide open!  He was like oh noes because he had to go to Costco too so luckily for him a dude nearby had duct tape so he taped his shorts back together and went to Costco.   Haha!

I'll never stop!

Fat Fries

What is going on here?  Why is it that most fast food burger chains are moving towards the fat fries now?  I actually do prefer the small thin fries over the massively fat fries.  I think the reason for my preference is because the thinner they are the crunchier they will be and you get to have more with the given amount of space in a fries container.  Thin fries or fat fries, eitherway they're both going to clog my arteries up so give me the privilege of eating artery clogging fries that are delicious.

Look at the little kid's expression, haha

A Cow In the Drive Thru

So today, I decided to feed the herd of siblings some Jack in the Crack and conveniently there's one really close to my house. As I go on my merry way up the drive through window to pay and grab my grub, I noticed a road block creeping up from behind. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't send the fattest employee out to sweep clean the drive thru driveway. For one, no matter where she goes, she's still in your way and I don't know about you but I am not willing to cause damage to my car or have milk splatter all over it. Two, I am not fond of looking at the marshmallow man. Obviously three, I have no patience to sit and wait for the dang cow to finish up and move out of the way. Luckily, the food took awhile so she was out of my way by then.

It's the Cheetah girl!

Seriously, people that do not know how to drive stick should not attempt to drive out in public. There was someone in a brand new Scion Tc that didn't know how to drive manual and freaking stalled 2 times at the light. I nearly rear ended the mofo the first time he stalled so we had to wait for the next green light because of his arse. Then when our light when green again, he freaking stalled again! I hate freaking wannabe ricers. I guess he was embarrassed by that point and finally sped off because before that incident he was driving pretty slow and if I knew his he going to screw up like that then I would have passed him up beforehand. Bleh.

Import Tuner gots nothing on me son!