I Can't Photoshop

One day, I really need to get off my behind and learn how to use Photoshop. I have the art one and the video one but never bothered trying to learn to use any of them. Actually, I have tried to use Photoshop before but I really did not know how to do anything! There's like so many different functions that I have no idea how to use or even what they're even for. Or maybe I'll just stick to hiring others to do the work for me. Any photoshop free lancers out there?

Darn it, Photoshop didn't work on him!